The Zupperites

All the Fixins Wixoms
Allison Cheese and Dewine
Andrea Maitre D'Attanasio
Colin Not a Meal Missin' Nissan
Emily Talk Food I'll Listen Nissan
Tenny "Give me a beer, son" Pearson
Dan Butter My Rollman
Mike Pork and Beany Sweeney
Molly I'll Have Some Moyer
Nick and Alex Wasted at the Bar Spahr
Paul Dinner's Over That's All Foulkes
Jane Put a Fork In'er Gallagher
Nancy Chicken A La King
Phil Kiss My Grits Covitz

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

"R" is for RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRoberto!

It was like that age-old children's story, "The Ten Little Zupperites." First there were ten fearless food junkies all gung-ho, ready to storm the Bronx like a bunch of Zupperites hopped up on some high-grade meth. We had just conquered Queens two weeks prior with the noticeable flair and zest that comes from a group that knows its shit and is confident taking down another borough. And this time it would be the last borough. The Bronx.

That's right, the Zupperites had put away 18 months, 18 letters, 18 restaurants, 4 New York boroughs and only had one borough left to bring down. We were strutting around like a bunch peacocks wearing bright yellow shirts, ruby-rimmed glasses and Horn of Plenty hats encrusted in sausage links. This was Confidence's bigger brother. The perfect mixture of Popeye Doyle wearing a Martha Stewart Halloween mask. After Saturday, it was clear to all involved that the Zupperites would claim victory over all five boroughs with 8 months to spare. Life was good...

...Or so it seemed... (Insert crack of thunder and bolt of lightning here)

Like the fat guys on Saturday Night Live, the Zupperites suddenly started dropping like flies when R-Day approached. Some had work, some had sicknesses, some just didn't have the decency to write back and say, "Sorry Dudes, I moved to LA a few months back. I'm probably not going to make it. This is Paul, btw." So what started out as a strong, solid, Zeitgesit of Zupperiters, pretty soon dwindled to a paltry, fidgety, forlorn five. 3 women. 1 man. 1 undecided. It was a watershed moment. Would the Zupperites, ravaged by disease and flakiness, survive to conquer their bitter foe, the Bronx? The confidence was gone. The swagger, no more. The Horn of Plenty hats traded in for ones less ostentatious. One fainthearted Zupperite even suggested in a text, "Rain check?"

The seas were in tumult. Would this happy Band of Food Brothers and Sisters still make it to arguably the toughest borough in town? Don't be silly.

Of course, we would. We're F*in Zupperites. And we were hungry. And thirsty. So before we set out, we powered up with a couple cocktails at the famous Oyster Bar in Grand Central.


Once we were "juiced" up, we boarded the LIRR and headed North to 125th St. We headed out in search of the famous Arthur Ave (New York’s original, real Little Italy). The street was a culinary mecca of little delis, bakeries, pizzerias and family run pasta joints. Temptation was everywhere, but we had to stay the course, we had to reach Roberto’s or this would all be for nothing.



Roberto’s doesn’t look like much from the outside, but with just a crack of the door, we could sense that we were about to experience something unique, something utterly and wholly divine. (We just had to get past the "Sopranos extras" at the jam packed bar and “coffee talk” ladies milling about.)

It’s hard to begin on the gloriousness that was our dinner. The specials were a highlight, the best being the spring risotto (fresh pesto, toasted slivered almonds and buttery morels) and this creamy, rich pasta pictured below:

The Chianti flowed, homemade pastas were twirled, chicken was smothered and veal carmelized to perfection. We felt like Kings, Queens... like we found out a secret that we didn’t want to share. And best of all, Roberto himself came over to check on the table, made a few jokes and posed for a picture. I think someone tipped him off that the Zupperites were there.







We were so inspired (and loopy), we had no trouble entertaining ourselves. Our first attempt at replicating the shape of an "R":





And Tenny’s successful way of making an “R”:

Another night of culinary success- our bellies, satiated and adventurous souls, quenched. Roberto's (the restaurant and the chef) absolutely rocked. Two right thumbs up.

3 comments:

Unknown said...
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Maria Consuéla said...

hahahhaahhahahah
hhahahahahahhaha
hah
ha
ha
haR

your mom said...

Is Joe fucking Rose wearing a turtleneck?